5 Tips to Flirt with Ease
While flirting is undoubtedly a talent and some are naturally good at it, most people really aren’t! Many of us are even too hard on ourselves purely because we’re not natural flirters. This rather defeats the purpose, as the whole point of flirting is to keep things light, fun, and perhaps a little wicked!
There’s no serious intention or implication behind flirting, though serious relationships can begin with fun flirtation. Men and women both love it when it clicks… and really, flirting is just fun! Don’t overthink it – unwind and follow our five simple tips to making flirting with a person you’re attracted to easy and painless.
The Way You Stand
You may not realize this, but people are generally able to read your mannerisms and can judge your confidence based on your stance. Keep your back straight without being too stiff. Your mannerisms need to be relaxed and composed, exuding a quiet confidence. That’s because when there’s confidence, there’s comfort on both sides and it’s easy to establish a rapport quickly.
Eye contact is an important component of body language, and of flirting! When there’s too little eye contact, it typically means that at least one party is not interested or is uncomfortable with the situation. Staring into someone’s eyes too long, on the other hand, causes discomfort. Make eye contact but read your partner’s body language to know when to break it.
While we obviously can’t give a comprehensive guide on when to break eye contact, you’ll know based on the conversation and body language of the person you’re flirting with. If you need a guideline, though, remember that eye contact of 7 seconds or thereabouts typically means attraction, and longer eye contact can indicate aggression. (Counting seconds of eye contact usually means the end of the conversation.)
Listen More Than You Speak
The art of being a good conversationalist isn’t about clever lines and quippy catch-phrases but being a great listener. Everybody loves to talk about themselves, even if they are hesitant at first.
Being a good listener allows you to know what to talk about and when you give the person undivided attention, your stock instantly increases. Moreover, carefully listening allows you to pick and choose exactly where you want to continue the conversation, preventing any chances of awkward silence.
Everybody loves a compliment! When you’ve just met a person you really can’t compliment them on their sense of humour or grasp of socioeconomic theories, move on from compliments on looks and clothes as soon as you can, as you get to know them better. You’ll come across as far more genuine that way.
However, no matter how shallow it may seem, if you’re looking for a way to start a conversation with a single person at a club you’ve just visited, chances are they’ve dolled up and come over to meet someone new as well. So, feel free to drop a corny complimentary pickup line in those specific circumstances, such as:
“My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the club. What should we do with their money?”
Again, as with eye contact, it’s key not to go overboard. You may come across as a faker or a creeper, with less savoury intentions in mind.
Maintain an Elusive Aura
Don’t reveal everything about yourself in the first conversation! A sense of mystery makes you more intriguing. While it’s lovely to open up and have a heartfelt conversation with your partner, don’t perform an information dump on someone completely new. You could, for example, suggest that they could get to know more about you on the next date! While you don’t have to shut yourself off forcibly, it’s good to appear as mysterious as possible. Human curiosity instantly makes you appear more interesting.
The best kind of flirting happens organically and isn’t forced. When you’re able to have a conversation that flows smoothly, you can make a few subtle hints and test the responses you receive. Remember – don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Flirtation is light and fun, and it certainly isn’t the only key to attracting a person!