October 09, 2019
After divorce, re-entering the dating world can feel like stepping foot in uncertain territory.
You may find yourself asking questions like:
If you’re asking any of these questions, you’re not alone. After a long marriage that may have ended in divorce, dating doesn’t always feel easy.
Here is some “dating after divorce” advice to consider:
1.) There’s no magic timeframe.
Some experts say it’s best to wait one year before someone re-enters the dating world after divorce, but everyone has their own timeline. Trust your own. Come face-to-face with the sorrow, grief, and exhaustion that can linger after a divorce. Remember, divorce is a big life change. It’s up to you to work on your personal healing and get to know who you are now—you may need to get to know yourself again, first. Working with a counselor or therapist to boost your confidence and make sure you’re over the past can be helpful during this time.
2.) When the time is right, date for the right reasons.
Dating to avoid painful feelings like anger, loneliness, or sorrow is just a band-aid for a larger feeling that’s better met head-on. Explore your inclinations. If you’re feeling like you need to date or have to date, it may be best to evaluate where these feelings are coming from. The time is right when you want to start dating.
3.) Times have changed. Dating today isn’t like dating was back in the 70s, 80s, or 90s.
Social rules for dating are constantly changing, and 2019 has a different dating landscape that decades past. Back in the 80s, for example, a date may have asked you out over a landline or left a message on your answering machine. Now, a date is more likely to send you a text message or a message on social media asking you out.
In the past, men and women have found love at parties and gatherings, while being fixed up on a blind date, or when they placed a personal ad in the newspaper. Times may have changed, but people are still meeting each other these ways. Don’t feel like you’re boxed in to downloading an app or only seeking people out online. Stay open to who you meet while you’re living your life, playing sports, enjoying hobbies, and taking courses.
4.) Start small. Think of the first date like an interview.
When you do feel ready to date, spend a small chunk of time with someone. Arrange to meet for an espresso or a drink in the evening. Instead of feeling locked into an entire evening of plans with someone who you feel a “meh” feeling about right away, an hour or two is a small price to pay to see if you’re the right match.
5.) Utilize the power of an introduction service.
Swiping through dating apps and going on lackluster dates doesn’t have to be your new normal. If you’re single and you don’t want to be online to find love or you prefer to keep your personal life more private, an introduction service, like Meet Mozaic, matches you with someone who’s on the same wavelength.
With meet mozaic, you’re more than just a picture on a dating app. You’re you—and we take the guesswork out of dating, whether you’re recently single or have been divorced for years. Our clients in Hong Kong are friendly, attractive, and professional—and they’re hoping to m